To see you again would make my life complete
by weird-and-wonderful
Summary: james is kidnapped by datheaters, lily moves on, james comes back, chaos ensues, people die, friends become foes and lily becomes pregnant
1. Default Chapter

A woman aged around 20 was walking home one rainy night. She was about 5ft7 shoulder length red hair and brilliant green eyes that you could see in the dark. Her name was Lily Evans. She was walking home from work usually she would just apparate home but Lily liked walking in the rain, she was strange like that, it was something couldn't explain why she liked it, she just did.

She was so tired it was unbelievable, whoever said an office job was easy! She was Mad eyes Moody's personal assistant and lets just say he wasn't the most easiest guy to work for. She had to run from department to department getting certain case files about death eaters, remind moody of all press conferences and run to the coffee shop and fetch beverages for the Aurors. Fun!

She used to love working with the Aurors they were always nice and chatty to her, they always managed to have a laugh. They even gave her a nick name "red". But since the incident they can't look her in the eye, she supposed most of them felt guilty about it really as they were there when it happened, they witnessed it. Even Moody laid off her for a bit.

James Potter was out on an emergency call when some deatheaters were attacking a muggle building. From what they told Lily, James was a hero he saved loads of muggles and risked his life for a muggle boy who was stuck under some bricks. Just before the whole building collapsed James went rushing in to save more victims being tortured by the deatheaters. When the whole thing came down. When the fighting had stopped, the search for the remaining deatheaters bodies, but no bodies were found they searched for James, but his body was gone. At first they thought he apparated off to some safe house but everywhere James would go he wasn't. After 2 months of James's name on the missing list they pronounced him to be dead. Everyone gave up on him. They held a memorial service for him but Lily did not attend.

The day that building came tumbling down, so did Lily's world. James had been there for her when her parents had disowned her for wanting to carry on being a witch. He caught her when she fell, he guided her if she was confused, he held her when she cried, but she didn't cry any more. The day she lost James she found a new pain, for some reason she didn't cry she couldn't she found it too hard to cry, she found it hard to speak even breathe.

She came to her apartment, she suddenly realised what day it was. It was hers and James's 3 year anniversary how could she forget. Well it wasn't as though they were married but she couldn't believe she forgot. She suddenly heard someone call out for her name. It was Dorcas Meadows, her best friend and flat mate

"Lily is that you?"

"Yes Dor it's me don't worry I'm not some deatheater coming to rape you!" Lily laughed

"Not funny Lily!"

Lily laughed and opened the door and went inside.

Dorcas was all dressed up she was wearing a very revealing top that left nothing to the imagination.

"ooooooo who are you trying to impress Dorcas? Not Sirius again because he is just not worth it anymore!" Lily exclaimed

"No I'm not! I'm going to out on a date with some guy from the from the Charms department. He is nice, really nice if you get what I mean." Dorcas said with a very cheeky smile on her face.

"So in other words you want to fuck his brains out!"

"Not on the first date! Well maybe if I can't control myself" Dorcas giggled

"Your such a tart sometimes but as long your not keeping me up, if you two come back here put a silencing charm on the room, because Mad eye wants me in early for some Auror thing so sound proof the room if u have to ok?"

"Yes mother! Oh wait!" Dorcas was just about leave "Saw Sirius today and he said he wants to see you sometime soon so owl him ok? Cya!"

As the door slammed Lily felt sick feeling in her stomach she didn't want to be alone she wanted Dorcas to come back because when ever she was left alone the hole in heart where james was would grow bigger as she would think about him more with no one to take her mind off of him.

Lily reached for the cupboard and took out some sleeping tablets she took one of them and swallowed. She had been on these for the last 5 months and she found she had recurring nightmares about James. Lily felt drowsy and she wondered to her room, she got to her bed and she just collapsed asleep.


	2. meeting with sirius

I would like to say a big thanks to andallthatjazz and to fergie2 thank you so much!

I do not own Harry Potter

**A meeting with Sirius**

Lily woke up that morning from a refreshing sleep. It had been one of her good nights when the nightmares of James hadn't slipped into her sleep. She looked at the time on her clock and she saw she had woken up a little earlier than she should have but she didn't care.

She walked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen where a naked man was standing. She didn't take any notice of him until he said

"Morning!"

"Morning!" Lily replied, then Lily suddenly noticed there was a naked man in her kitchen "Umm who are you by chance and what are you doing in my kitchen naked?"

"Simon!" Dorcas called from her bedroom "its way too early to be up come back to bed! Please you'll wake up lily if I keep on calling you to get to come back, because I'm so fucking hot for your large co–"

"Dorcas! I don't wanna know!" lily exclaimed

Dorcas came rushing out with a blanket wrapped around herself and one in her hand for the man named Simon

"Lily I am so sorry I didn't mean to wake you up! Please don't kill me and and –"Dorcas seemed lost for words.

"its ok stay calm I was already awake before your little out burst of whatever that was meant to be" Lily laughed

"Oh thank god! This is Simon by the way if you didn't already know?"

"We were just talking before you rudely interrupted us!" lily said with holding in her giggles

"Ok now we are done with the introductions how about me Simon go into my bedroom and you go back to yours and sleep in for a bit"

"Good Idea. Nice meeting you Simon!"

"You too lily" Simon replied

"Oh Lily this came for you I think it's from Sirius he really wants to speak to you!" Dorcas held out a letter for lily

"Thanks" lily sighed. What did Sirius want her for that badly? She thought to herself she opened the letter.

_**Dear lily **_

_**Look I know we haven't spoken in a while with the whole James thing but I think I have found a way to put both our suffering to rest. Look I know I'm not your favourite person in the world but I need to speak to you desperately so I am begging you to come round to mine tonight. Please I need to speak to someone who understands what I'm going through.**_

_**Lots of love **_

_**Sirius**_

Why is he doing this again thought lily. When James first disappeared he came up with such stop theories of how he would go and find James and that James is probably sunbathing on a beach waiting for someone to find him. Sirius never got over the fact that James was pronounced dead. He unlike lily went to memorial service but he arrived drunk and shouted at James's family about how they don't believe in James and how they don't care about him.

Was this Sirius revenge on lily make her talk about James? Lily didn't speak to people about James as it was something because she found it too uncomfortable and pointless. What is talking about someone dead going to do?

Again Lily's work was hard, mad eye made her be his personal slave for the day and deducted her pay because she wasn't fast enough on getting some file for him.

She was not in a good mood at all so she thought she might go round Sirius's early so it wouldn't drag on.

She apparated over to the posh side of town as Sirius was quite rich and could afford a place like that, unlike her and Dorcas who could barely afford the rent in a two bedroom flat!

Lily knocked on the door

"Lily I didn't expect you over so early!" Sirius sounded surprised "the place is a mess I thought you were coming later"

Lily walked into Sirius's flat looking around and seeing memories of James everywhere she turned.

"Sirius I want to go home quick because I'm shattered so please just tell me what you want!" Lily exclaimed tiredly

"James is alive, and before you say don't start picking sticks again let me explain" Sirius waited cautiously for Lily's disagreement about the possibility of James being alive.

"Go on"

"Well I got a message from him the other day in my dream."

"In your dream! Let's get the Aurors quick! You had a dream about your dead best friend!" Lily mocked

"He told me he had been trying to get through to you in months but you take a heavy sleeping potion so you blocked him out. He said that a Deatheater apparated him out of the building just before it collapsed. He took James as hostage thinking Voldemort would be pleased and that they could get a ransom from James's family, but Voldemort killed the Deatheater as he saw James as a waste of time!" Sirius took a deep breath and continued "James has been tortured many times to get information about the Aurors, Mad eye and Dumbledore, but he has never cracked. Lily he said to say to you that he loves you so much and to be strong."

Lily couldn't believe it. How could this possibly have happened but everything made perfect sense! Everything thing fitted in with James's disappearance. She wouldn't believe it, she couldn't.

Lily finally spoke "what was the deatheaters name?"

"Silas Landau"

Lily suddenly whose name it was that was, it was the file Lily had to go get mad eye they found his body, or what was left of it 3 months ago and they needed to identify it.

"I have to go" Lily apparated out of Sirius flat before he said anything and went home.

She lay on her bed and cried. She cried all night, she just couldn't believe it was too everything was too perfect. Lily couldn't handle losing James again. What if they found his body and she knew he was alive and she could have done something to save him. She just wanted to believe he was dead it made life simple. Being miserable and lonely made life simple to her, because being with someone and loving them made life a bitch.


	3. the new guy on the block?

Ok I would like to say a big thank you to all of you who reviewed! Thank you so much! And sorry it took so long to update I had loads of school work recently.

I do not own Harry potter

**Knock Knock! **

"Ok ok I get it I'm up" said an extremely tired Dorcas

Dorcas had opened the door an inch when an old looking man called mad eye moody had already apparated into her apartment.

"MAD EYE!"

"Where is Evans?"

"I don't know isn't she at work with you?" replied Dorcas adjusting her robe making sure she wasn't revealing anything to Mad eye.

"Well when you find that good for nothing woman tell her I'm seriously pissed at her and that she can expect more off her paycheque!" he apparated out.

Dorcas ran into lily's room to see if she had slept in where she found Lily curled up on the floor with a pillow with mascara streaks down her face from crying.

"Lily huney bun. What it is wrong? What did Sirius do? Dorcas asked

"He's wrong! He just has to be wrong? Why know just when I was starting to get things back! Why?

"Lily what happened?

"I cried for the first time in 6 months. That is what happened I need to go see Sirius" Lily grabbed her wand point it at herself and the old scruffy, a complete wreck. Lily from last night disappeared to this beautiful cut clean sophisticated woman. She grabbed her cloak;

"I'll be back late ok?" Lily apparated straight out into Sirius house.

Lily noticed that some of Sirius stuff was packed.

"Sirius?" Lily called

"Lily I'm glad you came back I'm going to find James last night he was in was real trouble I can't just leave him out there anymore, someone has got to act"

Lily looked at Sirius with such sympathy for him he was so hurt. "Sirius the James Potter I know died six months ago in a very tragic deatheater attack and you need to get over it. For while there I believed you but I can't if I do, I can never move on, and I want to move on. I will also love James always deep down in my heart but I can't go on like this, I need to move on. No I want to move on and I will" Lily said gently to Sirius she gave him a soft kiss on his cheek, and appareted out.

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Lily was sitting on a park bench some where in muggle London watching two little girls play on the green. She was remembering when she was like that and she had no worries back then and the worry she had was having to wear the atrocious jumper grandma Evans would knit her, for Christmas and she would have to wear it when ever she saw her. Lily laughed at the thought. Then a man was suddenly spoke to her;

"Lily? Are you ok?" asked the man

"Oh hi Simon!" Lily said suddenly recognising the man, at least this time she met him he was wearing clothes, she thought. "Yeh I'm good. How are you?"

"Yeh I'm great! You just looked a bit lonely, so I thought I would come over here and speak to you." Simon replied.

"When you next round mine and Dorcas's place? If your coming round tonight then we go back together" lily suggested as she was grateful for the company.

"Umm not anytime soon. I think me and Dorcas are a one time thing." Simon looked towards the ground in embarrassment.

"Oh sorry didn't know Dorcas didn't really mention anything to me"

"It's not your fault, it's just I couldn't do it with a girl who said the wrong name at the wrong time if you get me." Simon said

Lily laughed "oh god Dorcas!"

"Lily do you want to come back to mine? I have nice bottle of wine and a Chinese menu if you're interested?" Simon looked at Lily hopefully.

A big smile lit Lily's face "as long as we get prawn crackers and sweet and sour sauce."

"Deal!"

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After the Chinese and many glasses of wine Lily and Simon sat on his sofa more than a little tipsy. Chatting as though they had known each other for years.

"So come on whose name did Dorcas say? dish the gossip" Lily said her head feeling heavy leaning into her glass of wine.

"Umm a very unusual name I think it was male can't be sure, something like Saraious. No it was serious. Now anyone called Serious?"

"Oh you mean Sirius. Of course I know him he was Dorcas's shag mate for 2 year; by the end of it they were more like boyfriend and girlfriend. But that ended months ago." Lily's head now feeling extremely heavy. She looked over at Simon and he was looking at her not blinking at all.

"Lily I like you, I like you a lot." By the end of this sentence Simon already had his tongue down Lily's throat. Lily pulled away.

"Sorry I just" Simon stammered. "You just so beautiful and funny and a really great person I just –"this time it was Lily's turn, she kissing him hard and passionately. It felt right she continued until Simon pulled away this time.

"This might sound a little bit forward but do you want to take this to the bedroom?" Simon asked.

"Not at all" lily finished her glass of wine in one gulp and grabbed Simon by the hand and ran into the bedroom.

Lily pushed Simon on the bed and started undoing all the buttons on his shirt, while he ran his hands up her top trying to undo her bra. Lily thought she would save him the trouble, ripped off her top and undone her bra by the time she had done this, Simon had taken the hint and was already down to his boxer's. Lily took off her trousers and pants and I was on the bed with Simon on top of her. They were kissing more and more passionately, till he looked at lily and she gave a little nod and he entered her.

He thrusting himself in and out of her and breathing extremely heavily. Lily was breathing heavily too and then she felt something work it's way up her body she began to moan louder and louder with Simon.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!"

Simon shouted "oh god" and ejaculated

Lily looked up to the heavens and moaned "YES SIMON!"

He rolled off her looked at her and smiled, Lily smiled back, then he came in behind her and hugged her as they feel asleep

A/n: I think that was the worst chapter I have written, but if didn't like it then oh well you obviously don't want James to come back then, as this chapter had to be done if you want him in the next chapter! So review please and I will try to update faster!


	4. past to present

(A/n thank you to all those who reviewed!)

I do not own Harry Potter

**Past to Present**

Lily sat down in her chair at work and kept her down on her desk as her head was still banging from the terrible headache she had, from drinking all that wine last night. The pain was just starting to ease when:

"EVANS! I'm so glad you bothered to turn up to work today! Because you have hell of a load to catch up!" mad eye walk to straight to his office and slammed the door behind him.

Lily groaned in pain and started filling the paperwork she had on her desk.

"I know exactly how you feel!"

Lily whizzed around to see who was talking to her.

"Oh it's you Zack; you scared the hell out of me."

The man named Zack gave a light chuckle and smiled at Lily.

"Late night? Who was he then? C'mon you can tell me Lily."

"He was Drocas" Lily lied quickly "we just had a girly night in that's all"

Zack eyed her carefully "well here have this" he gave her a flask" it's a pepper up potion, my girlfriend made it last night before we –" Zack's cheeks reddened in embarrassment he quickly changed the subject " how bout I help you this morning, I'll run out and get the coffees for meeting"

"Could you?"

"Yeh sure!" Zack replied

After filing every piece of paperwork on her desk. It was lunch time and Lily was starving so she set out for the muggle sandwich place around the corner from the ministry.

Lily had just set a foot outside of the ministry when someone called her name

"Lily!"

She turned around and it was Simon

"Oh hi Simon how are you?" before he could even reply to Lily's question she answered it for him "oh good your great well I got to go" lily went to leave but Simon grabbed her hand.

"Lily I think we need to talk about what happened last night."

"Do we? I didn't think we do" Lily replied innocently

"Lily I know why you left early this morning and why you just want to forget it, I've spoken to Dorcas she told me everything Lily."

"What do you mean everything?"

"She told me about James and how you might feel you have betrayed him."

"You know what Drocas is talking through her arse because I feel fine you were just a quick fuck, that's all. So don't come to me all I know how you feel because you don't. Now excuse me I need to go get my lunch and 35 other Auror's" Lily walked off so angry with him.

It was 5.05pm which was time for Lily to head home. She couldn't get the conversation with Simon out of her. She was so rude and he was trying to be nice to her. Before she appareted home to her place she decided to go over and see him and apologise fro her rude behaviour.

She knocked on his door and waited for an answer. The door opened

"Simon I'm so sorry for what I said to you today. I didn't mean it"

"yeh well some of the things you said actually hurt me" Simon said quite coldly

"Look I'm really sorry, how about I make it up to you by taking you out to dinner? Please!"

"Fine let me grab my coat" Simon said trying to keep the smile off his face.

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_**3 months later**_

Dorcas just got up and went into her kitchen where she found Simon making food and putting it on a tray.

"What do you live here now?" Drocas replied sarcastically

"Actually I didn't stay round last night; I thought I would surprise Lily with breakfast in bed for her first day off in ages!" Simon replied in a tone of "as a matter of fact" sort of way.

"Well I'm coming too then if you're making breakfast you have to make it for everyone who lives here!" Dorcas said as the Daily prophet owl swooped in with the paper, she gave it a knut and went straight in to lily's bedroom.

"You two aren't fighting again are you?" said a very groggy Lily. Dorcas gave her the paper. Lily unfolded it and read the headline;

_**A FRIEND IN NEED**_

She then read the sub-heading

Missing Auror James potter saved by best friend black

"Anything interesting?" Dorcas asked

Lily passed the paper over to Dorcas. She looked at Dorcas and waited for her finish reading the head-lines.

"Oh my God!" Dorcas said

(A/n; really short chapter as I have to do my English and r.e coursework now. Newayz james is back. We will see him in the next chapter.)


	5. what is this feeling now?

(A/n Ok it's been along time since I've updated but I've been seriously busy, but I'm on holiday now so I will update more often)

**What is this feeling now?**

"Lily? Are you ok?" Dorcas looked at her with caution

"How could he? HOW COULD HE? When I even said no don't go he always has to prove me wrong for God sake Sirius Black!" Lily said with such anger

"You knew where Sirius was? When I've been worried out of my mind sick thinking he could have done something stupid, and you knew where he was! I thought we were friends and friends tell people things lily!"

Simon entered the room "Dorcas I don't what you like for breakfast so you're getting what you're given!" Simon looked at the two women worriedly, "is everything ok?"

"Simon can we do this tomorrow?" Lily said as calmly as she could achieve as she was seriously pissed off.

"I doubt lily will want to see you tomorrow. As she will be probably with her fiancé arranging wedding dates, that's right isn't lily? You like two timing guys don't you and you think I'm the whore of this friendship"

"I never said that you were a whore, and don't you dare call me one! You no nothing about how feel at this moment in time, how much it has hurt me over the last 9 months so don't you dare bring Simon in to this."

"I think I'm going to go" said Simon quickly apparating out

"I'm going to try and see Sirius, to see if he is ok after him actually doing something for James. Unlike other people not even giving him a second thought while they shagged other men!"

Lily just sat there she couldn't believe Dorcas was pissed about this! She was being so mean to lily. She couldn't help it if Sirius went to get James and not tell Dorcas! She was wasting her time trying to see Sirius he was probably in St Mungos and she would need an Auror's pass to even get near his room let alone see him. Lily suddenly thought she had an Auror's pass as she was mad eyes assistant. She threw on some clothes started looking for her pass.

Before she aparated out of the flat she wanted to see if Dorcas had gone or not. She knocked on her bedroom door and there was no answer. She woke up feeling as if nothing could go wrong, seconds later it did.

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She arrived at St. Mungos and the waiting area was packed full of reporters and those who were actually injured. She saw Zack talking to a crowd of reporters.

"I'm sorry but Mr James Potter is giving an interview to his superior about his kidnap. Please leave your name and contact details and you will be invited to ministry official press conference"

"Hey!"

"Lily if you haven't a got a pass I'm sorry I can't let you in –"Lily cut off Zack quick by giving him her pass.

"Oh right I'm not sure if Mad eye will let you speak to James that long"

"Don't worry this isn't going to take long" lily said

He let her pass "he is in room 209, 4th floor. Good luck!"

She entered the lift and began to think what on earth was she going to say to him! Was she going to go in there pretend nothing is wrong like it was before and dump Simon or dump James for Simon? What was she going to do it was all too hard.

She exited the lift the room straight in front of her had a plaque reading "room. 209"

She placed her hand on the door handle pulled and pushed it open. There sat the minister of magic herself, mad eye moody and James, who was sitting up in his bed. He had badges around his ribs and scratches and bruises all over his arms and face. Lily also noticed long narrow scar running from his shoulder to his chest, he gave her the biggest smile possible.

"I need a break for a bit. You don't mind do you minister?" James gave the minister was of his boyish smile which would melt any woman at the knees. Lily smiled at this.

"Not at all I'm sure you two need a bit of a talk, we will be back won't we Alastor (sp)" she said turning to give mad eye a dirty look.

"Yeh we will be back soon" mad eye gave lily a dirty look and left.

"God I thought he would never leave and I also thought I would never see you again!" he continued to smile at her

"James" lily said a pained voice "Stop talking like that, it's over now your home, everything is alright again"

"But it was close, I mean really close if Sirius hadn't come I would never be sitting here admiring you" James looked at Lily who now crying "Don't cry lils like you said I'm home now and we can go continue as if nothing ever happened"

"But we can't be how we used to, a lot has changed."

"Like what? Your favourite colour has changed or something?" James laughed

"No, my relationship status!" Lily was not impressed by James at all "like I'm not seeing you any more, I'm seeing some one else" Lily said with such spite then she realised what she had said but it was too late.

"What? Who? I thought?" James's smile had faded and he looked quite confused

"That was so not the way that was supposed to come out like! I thought you were dead and people keep on telling me to put my self out there so I did, I'm sorry." Lily said looking at James who now looked as though he had been hit by a tuna fish.

"No wonder you didn't answer my calls for help! You were probably with him."

"It wasn't like that I had to take sleeping potion to even get a good night sleep. James I love you!"

"You have a funny way of showing "James was cut off my Lily's sweet kiss

"It's over I'm so sorry! James I love you I really do but I can't pretend none of this has happened. I jus need some space away from all from it all"

"Lily when you decide to love me again I'm here waiting"

"That's the thing I do love you but I need to clear my head" Lily said through the tears gushing down her face. She left the room and ran as far away from her life as she could.

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"Are you sure that a mudblood will carry the one who is meant to have the power to defeat me?"

"yes my lord" replied a man named peter Pettigrew

"do we have any idea who she might be?" asked a lucius(SP) malfoy

"we know who the father is, that idiot James potter but who is the mother?" bellatrix (SP) put on her thinking face.

"peter any ideas?"

Lord Voldemort suddenly rounded on peter and held his wand to Peter's heart. Peter gulped and started to sweat profusely.

(a/n ok not as good as I thought it would be but hey now at least James is back so please review good or bad I just want to know if ppl like it not, cos if no one does I might not continue. I'm not sure yet)


	6. getting back to normal

**Getting back to normal**

(Sadly last time I posted only one person reviewed as this site had some difficulties or something so plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz review this chapter)

James sat in his hospital bed in shock what had jut happened the love of his life had walked in to his life and just walked out in the space of 5 minutes. James just couldn't believe how fucked life could be. The Minster, mad eye, Sirius and to James's surprise Dorcas.

"James!" Dorcas ran over to James and gave him a big hug. "I can't believe it is you! Has your mother come to see you yet?"

"Err no I think she has been contacted hasn't she?"

"I contacted her personally James, don't worry, she knows" the minister replied with smile on her face.

"Potter is everything ok? You seem a bit quiet, where's Lily gone?" Mad eye asked

"You've seen Lily? What has she said?" Dorcas asked

"What is his name" James looked at her as if he was a child who had just found out his puppy had been run over.

"Simon, he works in the charms department" Dorcas lowered her head.

"Is she happy with him?"

"Yes"

James swiftly changed the conversation.

"When am I getting back to work that's if I still have a job?"

"yes of course" Minister replied." I mean we wouldn't exactly let you go after you escaped he who must not be named, I mean your too damn good potter I will see you when you are back and better" she gave him her signature smile and left the room.

"well see here now potter I want you in shape in 6 weeks maybe 4 if your good, I need men like you back working for our side" Moody left after that too.

So now the only people in the room were Sirius and Dorcas.

"Will someone now please fill me in on Lily and this Simon guy!" Sirius said

"Do you want the cliff notes?" James said sounding extremely pissed off.

"James please don't be like this please, I mean your back home your safe. Why don't you just look at the Quidditch scores in the prophet? Or owl your mother or even Remus, I mean he love to hear from you. How about that?" Dorcas looked at him pleadingly.

"Lily found some one else and decided to just to dump me"

"WHAT?" Sirius's face dropped.

"James!"

"Yeh she was fucking some other guy while I was fighting for my life just to see her again. Irony don't you just love it?"

"James look when I told her about you contacting me she was a real wreck I mean she was all over the place!"

"Yeh James" said Dorcas agreeing with Sirius "she had to take sleeping potion and everything; she couldn't even bear to see photos of you because she thought you were never coming back"

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Lily was in the three broom sticks she just sat there looking at her fire whisky, just dazed her life had turned upside down. James was back, the man to whom she was meant to marry, but she was seeing Simon now.

"Can I sit here?"

Lily looked up and saw Simon standing above her.

"Sure,"

"Lily I understand if you want to start back with James again I totally understand I mean you guys were going to get married. I totally understand."

"I choose you."

"Y-you choose me but i thought?" Simon was shocked

"If I choose James then I know what would happen and I don't want that well at least not now anyways I want you."

"Lily I want to ask you something that I was going to ask you this morning"

"Go for it!"

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes I will marry you"

"Really?"

"Sure why not."

"I love you Lily Evans"

"Yeh me too" lily knew deep down in her heart she didn't love Simon but he was all she had, with Dorcas not talking to her and not James or any of the other marauders.

Simon and lily stood up and he grabbed her span her around she let out a small scream he kissed her passionately and pulled out a ring.

"Simon it's beautiful!" the one James gave her meant more to her then this one.

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Sirius and Dorcas left James's room.

"I can't believe she was that selfish I mean argh! she just upset me so much." Dorcas had tears running down her face.

Sirius slowly lifted her chin they looked at each other, they kissed passionately and they apparated out together back to Sirius's apartment.

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"Peter, peter why lie to me? That stupid mudblood is marrying someone else my spies witnessed their engagement. Now who will Potter impregnate to carry the one who 'apparently' has the power to defeat me?" Lord Voldemort said viciously

"I don't know really I don't know, she is the only one who he would ever consider having a kid with I swear I just don't know who then." Peter wouldn't look his master in the face as he was absolutely petrified of him.

"Well if you don't. Then I have no use for you – avadar ked-"

"Wait you want this child to born so you can raise it evil so can you take over the world and rid it of muggles and mudblood. What if I got James and the mudblood to you know and make that kid then James will want her protected 24/7 then he will trust me to help protect her, so I'll get close. Then you can use me." Peter gulped hoping this would help save his life.

"Very well. You will start now if she isn't pregnant in the next three months, then your mine. Do you understand?"

"Yes master, thank you master."

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a/n plz plz plz review! Plz !


	7. loving you always

(a/n : yay I got reviews and everything seems to be ok with the story so far so lets hope this chapter won't be crap)

Disclaimer: if I could I would!

James was fit enough to go home after 4 weeks of being that stupid hospital and tomorrow he would got to work and he would have to see Lily. He wasn't looking forward to it. His mother had begged mad eye to drop him from the Auror ranks, but mad eye refused. It was 8.30 he thought he might as well be early on his first day back.

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"I can't believe you're moving out, just because I'm getting married!"

Dorcas and Lily were having another argument.

"Well you can hardly expect me to bring Sirius round here while you're cavorting with that man!"

"May I remind you that you slept with him first!"

"Exactly you might go after Sirius next for all I know!"

Lily didn't even dignify that with an answer.

"I got to go to work, I'm late." Lily apparated out

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As James walked into the conference it was like all eyes were on him. It cheeks began to go red in embarrassment; he didn't know whether these men and woman were admired by him or just shocked or maybe angry he survived and many others who they may have been closer to didn't.

"Potter! Glad you're here we are discussing are new assignment, about protecting the Italian ambassador when he comes to visit the minister. As you might not know –"

"I know Voldemort wants the Italy ministry on his side and also to back him financially." James then felt all the eyes in the room just concentrate on him.

"Very good Potter now take a seat" Moody said

James didn't know where to sit it was like being the new kid in class no one would even bother with you but they would all stare at you. Then as luck would have Frank Longbottom and as far as James knew his girlfriend walked in with him.

"James" Frank came over and slapped him on the back " how are –" mad eye gave a very fake cough.

"Anyway let's catch up after this yeh?" Frank said as mad eye threw them both a dirty look.

"Yeh," James said in relief he didn't feel alone or the out cast any more

"Where is my coffee did any of you idiots take it?" mad eye said angry looking at them as if they were going to confess they had taken it

"No sir none of us got ours today either, it seems lily is late again" replied mousey looking blonde woman

"Yeh she is nearly always late these days ever since she met that Simon." replied another Auror to whom James didn't know their name.

"Hey lay off her, everyone is allowed a bit of fun!" James knew the name of the Auror it was Zach, James had always thought he had something for Lily when he and her were going out. At that moment Lily walked in with her hands full of hot coffee for everyone.

"Evans, where have you been and why are you late again?"

"Well if hadn't noticed from all the coffees on the table I have been at the coffee shop and there was a big queue. That's why I was late not because of Simon, Rebecca. I'll go get the files? Shall I?" lily walked out and slammed the door behind her. She was so angry first of all with Dorcas, then that room full of people talking about her. How dare they talk about her private life, like that!

There was only one thing to do about it. Leave London.

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That had possibly been the longest day in James's life but at least he was going for a drink with Sirius, Remus and Peter after work. James wanted to speak to Lily she had said her piece now he wanted to say his.

There was a lamp on and she was wearing her reading glasses. James smiled there was a time where she would rather squint then admit to wearing glasses. He guessed a lot of things had changed since he had been gone.

"James are you going to stand there and watch me or are you going to actually talk to me?" lily was not having the bests of days any one could tell that by the sound of her voice

"I just wanted to say we are going to have to work together so let's at least talk. I mean we are on the same side no matter what has happened between us. O.k.?" James hadn't wanted to say this Lily he had wanted a massive fight to tell her that he had hated her and all sorts of things but the truth is he didn't hate her no he loved her. He loved her some much he couldn't stand not to see a smile on her face and looking at her at this very moment was killing him.

"There might not be any need for politeness, I'm writing my resignation. I'm leaving London." Lily couldn't bear to tell James this she knew how much this would hurt him.

"Why is this because of this Simon guy cause if so I think he will find a lot of people disagreeing with him on you leaving London? I mean come on lily loads of people would miss you and Lily I know you and you hate going holiday cause you miss London." James couldn't believe what he saying this girl had cheated on him, well not technically but sort of.

"James, Dorcas wants to not live with me because I'm not with you, people now talk about me and bitch about what a whore I am and James if you knew me you would know I can stand for people to hate for Christ sake. I can't even stand for deatheaters not to like me! James I'm suffocating here it's either leave London or kill myself again!" lily out her hand to her mouth she couldn't believe she let that slip the only person who knew that was Dorcas as she had found lily.

"You have never tried to do that – oh god it was when I went missing wasn't it?" James was in disbelief this was his sweet Lily, she had wanted to, to. He couldn't bring himself to even think it.

Lily burst into tears "I'm sorry." She needed to speak to someone about it Dorcas had dismissed it completely. "It was when they had held your memorial, I didn't go I couldn't it just wasn't fair I had lost the two most important people to me."

"Two people?" James looked up as his face was in his hands.

"My dad had died from a heart attack the week before."

"Oh god Lils I'm so sorry."

"Thanks. I wouldn't go to your memorial I couldn't, there would be people you didn't know talking about how good and brave you were and they didn't even know you. I decided I would sleep through the day so I went for the cupboard to get some sleeping potion. Dorcas had been cooking the night before and I knocked over the cutting board I tried to catch it and the kitchen knife I had missed it slit my wrist as it fell to the ground. At first I panicked but then the pain disappeared so I cut my other wrist then I overdosed myself on sleeping potion. Dorcas came home early and found me apparently just in time. I felt so ugly and worthless" Lily was in tears, she looked at James he was very close to her face; extremely close in fact close enough to kiss her.

His lips at first lightly brushed against hers then it turned into a much stronger kiss. He stopped put his hands on either side of her head looked her squarely in the eyes and said

"Lily Bridget Evans to me I will always love you, you will never be worthless or ugly to me and you should not believe that of yourself."

"James I love you too"

"Congratulations on your engagement. I hope you and Simon will be happy together. He'll get to do the thing I never got to do." James left her in the room on her own.

Lily put her hand on her heart and began to cry. He had just walked out on her again and this time she had let him.

a/n ok for this chapter I need you review seriously cos im getting bord of simon so you have a choice simon can either:

let james and lily have an affair and to simon to find out and take his life from being so heart broken

simon to become an deatheater

simon can die a tragic death

simon to have an affair and him and james have a massive fight

lily to dump simon and to be written out like dat !

so your decision if no one reviews then I write it on my own and probably make the story shit. So please I need your help review and tell me what you want!


	8. punch ups and screw ups

A/n omg u guys I don't think I have had so many reviews! Thank you so much for your input it has really helped me, but your not going to find out wot happens till the next three to five chapters. Lol! Newayz on with da story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

There he was standing tall his lips touched hers then lifted her up and brought to the bed. He placed delicate kisses all over her body. They were now naked. Then they kissed, his body rubbing up against her and –

That was the third time that week where Lily had an erotic dream about her and James. Oh great she thought its 3.25 and because of that dream there was no way she going to go back to sleep. These dreams had only started because of that stupid kiss her and James shared. She reminded herself every time that it was a stupid kiss and if you call that kiss she thought but she knew her head was lying to her, heart on the other hand was in between was the right thing to do and what wasn't.

Lily went into the kitchen and had a glass of water. She thought to herself she would read a nice good book, no sex, no romance involved at all that would get James out of her head. She went to the book case in the living room, where she heard a scream room Dorcas's room. Lily ran in there to see James there trying to calm Dorcas.

"Dorcas they said it would be alright don't worry. Oh fuck it who am I kidding certainly not myself he was lucky enough not to be dead." James punched the wall in anguish

Lily ran over to Dorcas and held her, stroking her hair and rocking her like a child.

"Wwwhy-? He's not a muggle born." Dorcas sobbed

"He went against everything he was brought up to be that's why, those people in masks. Half of them are his cousins. That's why Dorcas there fucking dick heads." James screamed last words.

"Why don't we go into the kitchen and Dorcas you can have a nice glass of water and so can you James and I'm keeping my eye on you your not to leave here without me. O.k.?" lily said she didn't know what had happened but she need to calm the situation before she got any answers, and to make sure James didn't do anything stupid.

Remus apparated in.

"James I've just come back from st. mungos, he is bad James real bad. What if –"Remus put his hand to his face, James sat down and began to breathe heavily which lily knew was a bad sign and Dorcas began sobbing again.

"Can someone please tell me what has happened?" lily felt a tear trickle down her face, she quickly wiped it away. "What has happened to Sirius?" Her voice was strong and confident.

"Got into a fight at the hogs head, his brother was getting scared about being a deatheater. Sirius went to talk to him and help him. It was a trap. 20 against 1! They beat the fucking shit out of him. His brother than began to have sudden spout of conscience, tried to help Sirius they killed him. Lucky Mudungus Fletcher as in the area alerted the order and got Sirius out of there. He is St. Mungos now and its not good." James bowed his head and began to cry, Dorcas was now being comforted by Remus.

"Go! Maybe you can stop him from doing something stupid." Remus than began wiping away Dorcas's tears.

James turned around looked at Lily

"James, I know how you feel. You feel like the person in the world has given up on you. James he isn't your best friend. He is your brother. He did the thing I couldn't do, the thing I was too afraid to believe."

James looked at her and said" are you mocking me about what I said to you last week."

"No" lily said looking the other way and smiling.

"Hey!" He rugby tackled lily to the floor and started blowing raspberries on her skin and tickling her. Lily laughed and giggled and screamed. God he loved her so much.

"If you want my help I can get you into the hospital and you can see Sirius if like?" Lily said

"could you?"

"well only you cause my pass only allows one. So lets not tell the other two, let me get dressed."

As lily left the room James called her back.

"Lily"

"Yeh"

"Thanks"

"Anytime" she smiled and left the room.

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"hi I'm Lily Evans and I'm Auror Alastor Moody's P.a, I'm here to do the paper work basically, and this is James Potter he is here to be my personal body guard we need to see the victim Sirius black, to see the extent of his injuries." Lily said to the medi witch behind the counter.

"I thought you were coming tomorrow?" the medi-witch said rudely to Lily

"I would rather see the extent of the damage, but yes I will be back tomorrow. Now are you going to be the reason why my boss throws a hissy fit tomorrow because I haven't seen the victim in hand so I don't have the appropriate paperwork for tomorrow's press release?"

"Third floor room 789, please be quick you are out of visiting hours you know"

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Peter was underneath an invisibility cloak to which his master had given him to help him on his mission. He followed James and lily into the lift, he noticed they didn't speak. He knew what he would do to get them together a true emotions spell. To release all that tension between them, not only did this spell reveal there inner felling but it was also an aphrodisiac.

They left the lift and went straight out turned left and started to walk slowly seeing each room number. They found the right number James opened the door for lily, and they followed. Peter saw Sirius lying on the bed battered and bruised. He had seen people like this before but it had never been someone he had known. He was too distracted by Sirius's appearance to perform the spell.

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"He looks so peaceful, how could anyone do this to him?

"Maniacs that's who I wish I was there, I could have done something to help him. I told him to let me go!"

"I'm glad he said you couldn't" James looked at her absolutely appalled.

"What are you talking about? You wish Sirius was like this?" James screamed at her

"James you escaped from them before they wanted you to torture you and kill you! You didn't expect them not to do it his time and James I can't bear losing my fiancé again! So if that makes me selfish then fine by me!" shouted back.

James looked at her and said "the thing is I'm not your fiancé anymore, Simon is. Remember. You're hardly even a friend to me any more so why don't you just go and fuck your shit head of a boyfriend!"

Tears filled lily's eyes.

"I got to go."

Lily slammed the door behind her.

"Fucking hell!" james sat in the chair beside Sirius's bed.

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Lily apparated in to Simon's flat she needed to break it off she couldn't go on with James and everyone hating her anymore. She walked in to his bed room he was sitting up on his bed with a girl straddling him. Moaning. He looked backwards and saw lily run out of the room. he followed the woman also followed.

"Lily I can explain!"

Lily looked at him in disgust he tried to hug her and she grabbed his left arm there was like a tattoo. It was the dark mark.

"Explain that!" lily spat

"How's my dear cousin may I ask?"

Lily looked at the woman. It was Bellatrix Black.

"You're a deatheater? When did this happen? You know what it's over I can't marry some one who kills muggle borns for fun!" Lily turned and slapped bellatrix Black and looked at Simon and kicked him the balls.

"Lily wait!" Simon squeaked as she apparated out.

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a/n : ok im tired so I'm going to bed I was going to post this on this on Thursday but because of the terrorist over here in London I couldn't as the internet was down. So tell me what you think. If you think I should add something to spice up the storyline then plz plz review I love getting them and I love hearing ur ideas. I loved the last chapter's reviews. I loved all your ideas so im trying to write an story with all of them involved

also: do you think that james and lily should conceive harry in the next chapter or the chapter after that?

Review please I'm lost without your guys reviews!


	9. dreaming of an autumn day!

A/n: again guys thanks to all those who reviewed!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Lily lay on her bed. Nobody loved her! She had no where else to go, Dorcas was barely speaking to her. Remus was just being Remus and sticking with his friends. As for Simon she wished he was impotent.

She looked at the clock and decided it was time for work.

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Sirius lay awake in his bed. Yes even though he was battered and bruised he was glad to just be to be alive and listening to his love sick friend about a certain red head.

"Ok I fucked up, Sirius stop laughing!" James wined

"James buy her the biggest bunch of flowers there is tell her how you feel and they go shag her as if there was no tomorrow!" Sirius laughed

"Yeh yeh I totally agree with Sirius James, you should so do that!" peter was now desperate. He only had six weeks left.

"Remus what do you think?"

"Well I know for a fact lily isn't easy as the girls Sirius dates, no offence Dorcas!"

"Don't worry about it" Dorcas laughed back

"James lily might be a bit fragile at the moment, that's all I'm saying." Remus said

"Fragile what do you mean?" James said worriedly.

"She's not – you know! I hope your not saying what I think your saying cause if so. Oh my god. That twat of a Simon fellar has knocked her up" Sirius replied in disgusted

Peter went purple and fell straight off his chair. If she was and it wasn't James's baby he was screwed.

At that moment in time mad eye and lily both walked.

"How you feeling now Black?" mad eye asked

Sirius didn't answer and blurted out, "lily you're pregnant!"

"I'm what?" lily asked completely confused

Remus thought he better clear up this mess, before it got out of hand. "I didn't mean that when I said fragile! I meant she is a little upset."

Sirius, James and peters face both came over with relief.

"Thank god!" peter said out loud

"Would some one like to tell me what is going on?" lily asked

"Oh they thought you were pregnant with that lying cheating scum bags baby!" Dorcas said with such ease

"Look would all mind leaving, as I have to interview Black then after the interview you may then interrogate Miss Evans on her reproductive system!" mad eye said looking extremely angry.

James, Remus, Dorcas and Peter all left the room looking as though they were children who had just been told off.

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"So Black you met your brother in the hogs head is that right?"

"Yes"

"And why was he meeting you?"

"He was having second thoughts about being a death eater, he came for my help" Sirius wasn't exactly comfortable with talking about what had happened to him just 36 hours ago.

"Do you know why he was having second thoughts?"

"No"

"But surely if you were going to help him he must have given you a reason, for you to want to help him?"

"Look he's my little brother! He was crying and pleading for me to help him and no matter what he has done or what has happened between us I'm still going to help him!" Sirius was extremely mad at these questions.

"Maybe we should continue this interview later mad eye? Sirius must need his rest? Lily intervened before this whole thing got out of hand

"Well Evans are you telling me how to do my job? "

"Yeh she is and I think she is right!"

"Well Black I will be back later tomorrow if as you and Evans say you are not fit too answer a few simple questions!" mad walked out and slammed the door behind him.

"Nice to see your up and looking much better!" lily smiled

"Thanks! James said what you did for him getting him in here to see me! Thanks I really owe you one thanks to you he was here when I woke up which was much better than to find some strange healers standing around me and staring at me"

"It was really no trouble Sirius. You were hurt and he was sad and you guys are like brothers what else could I do let James loose and get him mullered up too?"

"Yeh suppose. By the way what does Dorcas mean by 'that lying cheating scum bag'?"

"O Simon! He cheated on me with Bellatrix, your cousin."

"Jesus! I'm sorry lily god; its just one thing after another isn't it?"

"Don't worry about it! When I went over there was about to break it off anyway, but I got to admit it was a bit of a kick in the teeth! But I'm at least you guys are talking to me now especially Dorcas I couldn't stand another fight with her or James."

"Yeh he told me, he felt really bad afterwards, he is a bit of prick you should remember." Sirius tried to look at her but she looked away.

"Yeh well I should know not to let him get the better of me next time won't I?" lily said still not looking at Sirius

"Lily he still loves you. He told me, well not exactly but he did say that and I know you still love him. Now with Simon out of the way why don't you guys just pick up were you left off?" Sirius said hope fully

"I can't, Sirius I know your trying to help but no, I'm sorry. It's just well I couldn't things could never be the same again after what those death eaters did." She gave a weak smile and Sirius knew she was putting on a brave face

"Tell me about it. Hey they are my family," Sirius gave a hollow laugh.

"Anyways I better to go and see if I still have a job!"

"Sorry if I got you in trouble!" Sirius said concerned

But she walked out the door without a word; Sirius saw the tears rushing down her face as she left.

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_!DREAM!_

_!One year ago!_

_There was young woman with dark red hair with electric emerald eyes and she was throwing a handful of leaves at her friend he was around 6ft2 with black messy hair that stood up at the back._

_He tackled her to ground with leaves both in their hair. She gave a little giggle of excitement._

"_There was a twig in that batch you just threw at me; I could have got a concussion!" James said lying on top of lily holding both her wrists down and laughing at her as she was trying to struggle to get free and failing miserably_

"_It would have done you well if it had!" lily said still trying to break free and laughing._

"_Right that's it your not getting your surprise now for saying that!" James said he got off her he knew she wouldn't be able to resist him for saying that._

"_What surprise, James what surprise! Tell me please I'll promise I'll be good I promise!" she said smiling and acting like a five year old_

"_Well-" said James who turned to face her but with his right hand behind hid back full of leaves_

"_I didn't want to give it to you till later to night but if you insist!" he threw the leaves straight in her face and ran away laughing._

"_That was uncalled for!" she said removing leaves from her hair._

_He went down to the ground again and it looked at her as if he was studying a statue of Venus the god of love and beauty. He watched her. Ok she looked a bit of wreck with leaves all over her, but he loved her still._

"_Lily, can I ask you something?" _

"_If it is can I splatter you with more leaves than no!" lily laughed_

"_Will you marry me?"_

_Lily laughed gabbed another hand full of leaves and threw them at James._

"_Can I take that as a yes?"_

"_Take that as what ever you want it to be!_

_Lily closed in on him and-_

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James woke with a start; he had dreams about him and lily before the attack. How things used to be when she wasn't with Simon. He felt bad about the argument it wasn't her fault then he decided he was going to get her back what ever he had to do. He was going to get his lily no body's else's back!

a/n and that's it folks for this chapter. I don't really like this chapter but the next chapter will be big and loads will happen. Promises anyway I g2g and reread half blood prince! LOL! Such good book! Bye!


	10. blackmail and death

a/n ok I'm guessing I wasn't the only one to think that my last chapter was crap as well and literally no1 reviewed. But thanks to Hollaback girl who reviewed. If wasn't for you then I wouldn't have updated this story. Well if only one person likes this story then I'll write for them.

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"Wormtail I am disappointed only 4 four weeks left and you still haven't got Potter to impregnate that mudblood. For this you will pay; _Crucio!"_

Peter dropped to floor in absolute pain. He had never felt such pain in his life. If this is what he does to discipline his Death eaters, what does it feel like to be killed by him?

"Master I will do it I will not let you down I swear."

"Good and just what I wanted to hear. Now go! The time you have left is precious if I were I would see that wrenched mother of yours!"

Peter ran out of his master sight before he made the situation worse.

"Simon I have a mission for you too"

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"Sirius I need your help!" James ran into his hospital room.

Yes Sirius hadn't been released. Some healers said it was because he was afraid of leaving the confines of the hospital other believed it was because he was too lazy and the rest believed he just like the attention he was getting from the young female population of the staff at st. mungos.

"What is your problem my dear prongs?"

"Lily's favourite flower hasn't changed has it?"

"How the hell am I meant to know?" Sirius asked puzzled

"Perfect! Thanks Sirius you're the best mate ever!" James ran out of the as quick as he ran in to it.

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Lily was sitting at her desk with a pile of paper work in front her. Even she wasn't exactly feeling her best this morning but at least the fighting had stopped. Well most of it her and James still weren't talking. But she could live with that most of the time.

"Lily? We need to talk"

Lily looked up from her work and saw Simon looking quite smug.

"What do you want I gave back your ring, we nothing else to say to each other. Now leave me alone!" lily said angrily

Simon came quite close to her face and spoke in a whisper so only she could hear." What if I am found out to be one of the Dark Lord's servants and I tell your superiors you knew I was? Aren't people meant to tell the ministry if they know or suspect some one is a Death eater? You could lose your job lily and I don't take it lightly to being kicked in the balls especially when a mudblood does it to me and if I go down your coming down with me."

Lily went to slap him around the face, but he caught her wrist. "You don't want to upset me lily or I just might want to be caught."

"Just think about what I have said. I'll be seeing you soon."

He walked off, lily felt sick in the stomach. She got up from her desk to get some air. She went straight to the lift. She pressed for the ground floor. As the lift descended it left her to think about the consequences of sleeping with a death eater and not only sleeping with him but getting on the wrong side of him. What was she going to do? There was no one here to help her. As the lift came to a halt, some one entered. It was James. He was carrying a large bunch of orange and pink tulips.

"Lily look take this is a peace offering for being a wanker to you when Sirius got hurt. Lily you ok you look ill?"

Lily burst in to tears. James took a hold on her and hugged her.

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"So he is black mailing you?" James said angrily

"Not really I don't know what he wants from me to actually make it black mail" lily said hiccoughing into her butter beer which he bought her. They were in the Leaky Cauldron

"He wants to make you scared that's what. What department did you say he was in again? Charms is it?"

"James please don't start anything!" lily pleaded

"How can I not? Not only does he cheat on you and become a death eater behind your back but then he black mails, to make you a wreck! So lily please give me one good reason why should I not kick that prick of a death eaters arse?" James stood up in anger and knocked over his chair.

"Because you love me" lily said too standing up. She was scared for him. She didn't want to lose him again it had already been too painful.

"James he is a death –"

"don't give all that death eater shit again lily and your right I do love you which gives me further reason to beat the shit out of him." Said James lily could see the fury within his eyes.

She moved closer to him she out her hand to his hair and moved in closer to him. He turned his head slightly their lips brushed against each others, but it was cut short by tom the land lord.

"Err Mr Potter; Miss Evans thought you might want to know death eaters are attacking the ministry of magic."

"WHAT?" The pair said in unison. They looked at each other, grabbed their coats took each other in hand in hand apparated to the scene.

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They apparated into chaos. Jinxes and spells were flying everywhere.

"Lily stay here and help with the casualties and try and help the other against the death eaters. James ran towards the building. Lily ran in there too she over took James and drew out her wand.

"Lily!" James called after but she either could not hear him or she choose to ignore him

Lily knew exactly who to go for. Simon. She rushed past everyone where was he? She dodged jinxes, curses the lot. She heard a murderous scream and she knew who scream that was it was Dorcas's. Lily then changed direction and followed he screams. She burst through some door to which she did recognise and there she saw Dorcas on the floor in a pool of blood. There was Simon standing over her laughing and beside him was Bellatrix Black also laughing. Lily ran to Dorcas's side to check if she was breathing.

"Dorcas!" lily shook her to see if she would respond, lily then felt her pulse; nothing. No rhythmic beat, nothing; there wasn't anything.

"no!" lily said in a whisper and collapsed into tears, she put her head resting Dorcas lame body, lily didn't care if she would be covered in blood. She cared about nothing now. It was over; lily had felt such pain in her life before, not even when her dad even not when James had gone missing.

"Aw look at the poor mudblood crying!" Bellatrix said with murderous laugh.

"Shut up!" lily said as she stood up, drenched in blood. But Bellatrix continued to laugh.

"I said; SHUT UP!" lily screamed, she had never felt so angry in her life. She wanted to kill the pair of them with her bare hands; she wanted them to feel the pain she was going through.

"Oh I'm so scared what you going to do mudblood?" Bellatrix laughed

"This: _Crucio!_" lily pointed her wand straight at Bellatrix heart and watched her fall to the ground in pain, screaming. But it wasn't long enough for lily, Bellatrix got up and took out her wand pointed it straight at lily.

"You want to play with the big girls do you? Then take this: _Crucio! _"

Lily dodged out of it way and said _"stupefy!" _ Bellatrix froze

At that moment in time, James burst through the door and took one look at lily and pointed his wand at Simon.

"What did you do to her? Speak Death eater!"

"I didn't hurt her! I didn't even kill meadows it was all Bellatrix, I swear!" Simon knew he was beat.

"You stood there and you watched her kill Dorcas your as much as involved you may have well joined in and killed her too, standing and watching is the same thing Simon!" lily screamed there was nothing else to do.

"Lily I did this for you! Listen to me it is better for you to be killed now. Lily listen to me. You can't ever be with –" at that moment in time emerald green flames engulfed Simon lily screamed and ran to James. He held her and she cried in his shoulder.

"Rot in hell you bastard!" James said as Simon was being burnt. As the flames died down and all there was just a small black patch on the carpet.

"James, can we go? I don't want to be here."

"What about Dorcas?"

"James-"

"Look we can't leave her here how abut you back to my place and I'll be quick I promise. Just let me deal with what is going on here."

"Won't they want to interview me?"

"I'll have a word with mad eye. Just go back to my place. Go!"

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"Potter, Evans is the only suspect for the murder of Meadows, when you left Supposed Bellatrix Black must have escaped if what you are saying is true where is Simon then?"

"I told you he was burnt"

"Potter but did you see Bellatrix or Simon kill Meadows?"

"No sir."

"Then we need to speak to Evans now, if we are to find what actually happened."

"Tomorrow I'll bring her in personally, just you didn't see her, and she was a mess. Give me 24 hours and you can interview her. Please!" James begged Mad eye.

"24 hours, if she is not in my office tomorrow at 5.00pm. Then your involved too. Understand?"

"Thanks Mad eye!" James apparated out

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"Lily? You here?" God if she wasn't here what James do then?

"I'm here, am I in trouble?" James saw the red streaks from where she had been crying so much.

"They just want to interview you tomorrow though, so you can stay here if you prefer" James said trying to get closer to her

"No I want to go home, and then I'm leaving. I'm sick of magic."

"You can't go just yet, if you leave before your interview then your going to look guilty."

"They think I killed her don't they? Tell me the truth." Said lily

"Bellatrix escaped, Simon is dead, you're their only suspect" James couldn't lily in the eye.

"Fine, I'm going home, what time is my interview?" lily knew she had to pull herself together if she didn't want to go to prison.

"5.00 pm mad eye's office, lily I really don't think –"

"James I don't care what you think!"

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a/n: there you have it ! ok I really need reviews for this chapter, do you think I should have ;

Everyone to believe lily is guilty or not guilty?

Ok please please please please please please please please REVIEW!

Again thank you to Hollaback girl!


	11. the new assignment

A/n here's the next chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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James was sitting in mad eye's office with mad eye. You could cut the tension with a knife. James started to tap the table with his fingers and then mad eye growled at him. It was five to five and lily wasn't there. James thought she would be here early as it was an interview and a possible arrest if lily's was thought to be guilty. It was now 5.59pm and still lily wasn't here, what would he do if she didn't turn up? What if she had ran away? What if -

Lily walked in at that precise moment.

"Evans we were beginning to worry," said mad eye as if reading James's mind "please take a seat."

"Potter, get a quill and parchment and charm It." said mad eye, not taking an eye off lily. James naturally did as he was told he retrieved the quill and parchment from the desk placed it down on the table and tried to charm it. The quill just flopped on the desk and it didn't move. This was the opposite to which James wanted it to do. As he wanted it to stand up right and write everything that what was going to be said in this interview. He tried again and again it flopped. He was growing impatient.

"Christ Potter! Can't you just do some simple charm work? How the hell did you even become an Auror let alone escape from Lord Voldemort himself?" mad eye growled.

Lily withdrew her wand and charmed the quill as if it was nothing. "Can we hurry this up? I have a train to catch." Said lily irritable

"Interview start at 5.10 pm with a Miss Lillian Rose Evans on the murder of Miss Dorcas Meadow's. Now Evans explain to me what happened the night Dorcas was murdered?"

Lily retold her story. It was the first time she had spoken about it. It was hard to think that it only happened less then twenty four hours ago.

"Did you receive a threat from Simon that he was going to blackmail you?"

"Yes"

"You may go; your lucky Potter cared enough to follow you. Both your stories fit and I accept your resignation. I'll miss you, don' think I can find a assistant like you but if you want your old job back just owl me and its yours." Mad eye said standing up. "Now excuse I have to report to the minister." He left.

"You're leaving?" James said

"Yeh I told you, I'm sick of magic." Lily couldn't look him the eye, he was the only thing keeping her here she couldn't be distracted from her goal of leaving.

"Yeh and I told you I loved you. Does that mean anything?" James slammed his fist on the desk, he was so angry.

Lily stood up and left with out a good bye. She just left.

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James was sitting with his face in his hands at the leaky cauldron. He had come in to drown his sorrows. He was on his 2nd fire whiskey. The only girl to whom he had ever loved had just walked out without even saying good bye, he was gutted. He couldn't stand going home so he had rented a room at the pub for the night. He couldn't stand going home, with memories of lily there and also the alcohol was here not at his flat.

As he drained the last bit of his fire whiskey; he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and it was lily.

"We need to talk" she said

"How come you knew I was here?" James said completely perplexed.

"Can we go some where a little more private, so we can talk." said lily ignoring James's last comment.

"Yeh I have rented a room up stairs."

"Great" she followed James up the stairs and entered room 11.

He sat on the bed; she sat on the chair next to window.

"What do you want to talk about?" James said, he knew a fight was brewing between them.

"First off, how dare you -!" lily said she was looking at him. His dark eyes, which were like pit less pools of dark chocolate, his untameable hair that just so sexy, then there was his Auror physique, muscular arms, stomach, everything.

"Lily, hello?" James was now standing up with lily waving his hand in front of her face. "You have like blacked out or something, are you ok?"

Lily suddenly kissed, James. He responded quickly and led her to the bed. They collapsed on the bed, still locked in the passion of the kiss. Lily pulled off James's top. Still kissing. James then took off Lily's top and undid her bra with just a click of his fingers. James suddenly pulled away look at the half naked lily.

"Is this right? I mean Dorcas just died, and you must be grieving and you have been through a lot. I just want to know you want this that's all." James said. God if she agreed with him, he actually just might kill himself. I mean what kind of idiot lets a half naked woman just walks away like that?

"James please tell me the truth. The moment since you have come back you haven't dreamt of this moment? Not dreamt to be with me. To make love to me just like you used to? But if you don't think its right then I'll go."

Lily went to move from under James stopped and started kissing her everywhere. She then took off her own skirt and threw it some where, then James took off both his trousers and pants.

"Feisty are we?" Lily said as James went on top of her and started kissing her again.

"like you said from the moment I got back I wanted this, and its been a long since that moment so I'm going to impatient about this teasing and tantalizing thing." He said and then ripped off Lily's knickers. Lily gave a little giggle.

They were both completely naked. Then began kissing again and James started up rhythm with lily. Both their hips grinding in time with each other. Lily then pushed James over so he was on the bottom and she was on top and she was straddling him. She started to move back and forth and James started to moan as did Lily. This went on till the early hours of the morning. Neither of them slept that night.

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James woke up the next morning; he had never felt so happy in his life. It was like to him being born again. He turned to see how Lily was. She wasn't there but a note was.

_James_

_I wish things could have turned out differently but I need some time for myself before I get involved with anything. I told you before I was leaving so by the time you read this I will have gone. Thanks_

_Lily _

James had to read the note over a few times to believe what she had written. Maybe it was a joke. But he knew deep down it wasn't she had gone just like that with out a care in the world, without a care for him. He looked at note one more time and screwed it up into a ball and threw it in to the dieing fire from last night.

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"Master master I did it!" peter came scrambling in to Lord Voldemort Chamber

"you are sure?" Lord Voldemort replied, "is she now pregnant?"

"yes!"

"Well Wormtail I am surprised and least you didn't have to pay like that Simon." Lord Voldemort replied there was a sort of pride in his voice from the murder of Simon.

"Now Wormtail, you must also complete one more thing to be rewarded."

"anything Master."

"you must kill Potter"

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A/n: how was that?

Now please press that button saying review! You know you want to. Also I don't care I receive any flames either, they would help me actually!


	12. surprise visits

A/n ok, I'm like the reviews to last chapter that's why I'm updating quicker on this chapter. Also to tigerlily141 the answer to your question lies in this chapter.

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Peter sat at the bar in the hog's head, with his filthy glass of fire whiskey contemplating about his new assignment and what he had just done to his best friend.

"Pettigrew"

Peter turned around to see a Severus Snape (a/n I want him to die in the next book!) looking at him with the smuggest look on his face. "What do you want Snape" Peter was in no mood to humour him tonight.

"Just seeing how you're holding up after, you saw The Dark Lord. Did he tell you his new project for you?" Snape leered at him

"Leave me alone."

"I would be careful what you say to me if I were you. After all there isn't Potter here to save you, if you really piss me off" Snape snapped.

"Look you have had your fun, now please leave me alone in peace" Peter was too tired and worried to care if Snape did decide to curse him.

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?" Peter asked perplexed

"How the hell did you get that mudblood to fuck Potter's brains out? I mean from what I hear she was leaving this world to join the muggle world again."

"Does it matter how I did it? Look all you have to know is that I did it and the Dark Lord will have a heir, even though I don't think lily would ever shag The Dark lord, she is not Bellatrix" Peter said draining his glass and ordering another.

"I wouldn't let Bella hear you say that! Even though you do have a point, that mudblood is an Ice queen! Just tell me how you got her impregnated that's all" Snape was determined to get it out of him. He couldn't believe someone as stupid had done it without getting caught or failing.

"For fuck's sake!" Peter snapped "before she was about to leave

I kidnapped her, jinxed her, so she would want to have sex with James. Then I made her drink potion, which basically is a fertility potion and it has a success rate that is sky high, all she had to do was shag Potter as you like to call him within the hour to actually get pregnant. There you have it now leave me alone. Oh and before you ask I knew James would be in the Leaky Cauldron I brought her there and then I erased her memory of what I had done and then acted as the concerned friend and told her she needed to talk to James before she left. Now fuck off!" Peter said slurred as he had a lot of Fire whiskey by now.

"I must say I am impressed. I never imagined you could do all of that. How you going to kill Potter?" he asked

"I don't know, Dumbledore has being keeping a close eye on him and the rest of them too. I'll come up with a plan don't worry. Now leave me alone!" Peter said angrily

"if you want help, you know you can have my assistance any time, day or night. I don't care as long as Potter is dead," Snape said savagely

"GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" Peter shouted

"Fine" Snape apparated out of the pub

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4 Weeks later

James, Remus and Sirius were all wearing black robes. It as the Dorcas's memorial, and they were the few that had turned up. Som had turned up in pity, some turned up out of spite and the rest turned up because they knew her and liked her. They were walking out.

"Not bad memorial till Dorcas's brothers speech. Why was he so mean Sirius?" Remus asked. "I mean she was his sister. You think he could of have at least one nice thing to say!"

"No they had a fight when she was about sixteen and well she didn't speak about her family much. Suppose old wounds never heal. Do they?" Sirius said

"How you feeling padfoot? You alright? Want to go to the Leaky cauldron or maybe the three broomsticks to drown our sorrows?" James asked hopingly he had taken to drinking often since Lily left and what had made today worse to him as well. Lily had turned up for her best friend's memorial.

"I'm alright, it's not as though I was in love with her. You know me don't touch the stuff do I. like to distance myself from love altogether. But I'll survive you know me. Drink wouldn't go a miss. Moony you going to join us, as Peter bailed on us today." Sirius turned and looked at Remus.

"Yeh alright. Oh James I don't suppose you're in contact with lily are you? It's just well I would like to write to her. I was hoping to see her today but maybe she couldn't bear to come as she was the one to you know." Remus said most uncomfortably

"No why would I be in contact with her. She hates me!" James snapped

"Come lets go three broom sticks" said Sirius "it will be nice to see hogsmeade again, I haven't been there in ages"

"Yeh same here" James said a little more lightly trying not to focus on his reaction to Remus asking about lily. As they apparated over there. They found the pub half empty which meant they could get a descent seat.

"I'll buy the first round" Sirius said "mead all around? Or fire whisky"

"Mead will be alright to start" James said.

"To start? Your drinking a lot recently aren't you?" Remus said concerned

"And what if I am? I have been through a lot the past year maybe this is how I cope with things now? So but out Remus!" James was in no mood to be interrogated tonight.

"James I 'm just worried that's all, sorry for being worried about your well being! Also I haven't been the only one worried about your drinking! Have I Sirius?" Remus turning to Sirius for help

"Oh you brought that up did you Remus? Well James it has increased a little hasn't it over the past month." Sirius couldn't look him in the eye as he said this.

"Look if you two hadn't noticed I'm under a lot of pressure recently. So maybe a little drink relaxes me." James said with anger he couldn't believe his two friends where ganging up on him like this!

"James what pressure? Mad eye has laid off you for months he gives you all the easy work, everything! So James what pressure maybe we can help!" Remus pleaded with his best friend.

"You wouldn't understand. You would think I'm pathetic!" James whispered in to his mead

"We already do, so spill your guts out!" Sirius said with a smile

"lily left me" James said still looking down at his mead

Sirius looked at Remus as though he had an answer to what James had said. Then Sirius said "mate she left us all! She left all the people that cared for her! "

"No!" James persisted "she left me when I had a little peace in this world that everything was going to be alright because she was with me again. She gave me the confidence to live again, and she took it away just as easily as she gave it "James couldn't look at his friends. He didn't care if they wanted to help, he just wanted lily.

"James did you and Lily get back together before she left?" Remus asked

"I thought we had, but I was wrong. She told me she loved me that night and that there was no one else for her! But it all ended as soon as it began!"

"You shagged her then?" Sirius said

"to put it so brutally, yes I shagged her!"

Sirius began to laugh at James

"Sirius shut up! You wouldn't understand my pain! God who the hell have you lost!" James was so angry then all anger faded as he saw the look on Sirius's face." I'm sorry I forgot! I didn't mean it, I was just angry that's all!"

"It's ok. I would have been really pissed off if hadn't apologised and remembered Dorcas." Sirius said with understanding. "but there's' just one thing you could do for me to really is –"

"'Stop Drinking' I know, this is my last one unless someone dies or there's a party and I'll drink in moderation" James finished

"I think that's the best we are going to get aren't we moony?" Sirius said

"That will be fine, of course. James we never wanted you to stop drinking we just want to make sure you are ok that's all."

"I know, I know."

"Come on let's go back to my place and play a little poker!" Sirius said rubbing his hands together

"Yeh ok, but you guys know I'm going to kick your arse's right" said Remus with a cheeky smile upon his face

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There was Ashley Phillips sitting on her warm sofa watching the ten o'clock news with a nice mug coffee to comfort her. The wind was making the trees blow against her windows and the rain was pelting hard upon her house. The noise of the wind and rain was so loud she had to turn up the television full blast just to get a clear sound. As she began to settle back into the news she heard loud banging form her front door. She wondered who would be calling this late at night. She decided to ignore the banging from her front door; they would go away in time. But the banging persisted. Ashley finally decided to get up and answer it. She threw the door open and there she saw some one to whom she hadn't seen in many many years. It was her cousin soaked with the rain and by the looks of it she had been attacked. She ushered her in her warm house out of the rain.

"Lily! What a surprise to see you again for I haven't seen you since you were fifteen so long ago now. Lily but no offence what happened to you? Have been mugged? Look at the state of you!" Ashley said with concern in her eyes for her poor cousin Lily Evans.

"Ashley I'm sorry for calling so late. I had no where else to go. I went to Petunia's house and I got an ear full. Then then then-"lily then burst into more floods of tears.

"oh hush now! You know your welcome at my house any time. So are you going to tell me what happened to you or what." Ashley said handing Lily a tissue

"Well you know that I'm a witch" lily waited for Ashley's response. Ashley nodded in response. "Well at the moment there's a war going on at the moment and well these people who making the war are called Death eaters and the follow a person called Voldemort, well you see Voldemort doesn't like people like me from a non magical back ground. He kills them you see, and well you see it's not the first time I have been their target. So as I left Petunia's they attacked me, they seemed to want to kidnap me more than kill me. But I fought them off. Don't worry I don't think they followed me. I'll go if you're worried about your safety." Lily said getting up to leave.

"Nonsense! You're staying and I insist upon it! Now Lily let me get some antiseptic for those cuts of yours." Ashley said as she left the room

Lily got up and went to look at all the pictures, Ashley had. Ashley had a home something to which she could rely upon. She looked down at her abdomen and and placed her hand upon it and realised the only real home Lily ever had was Hogwarts. As a child lily was always moving around because of her father's job. She never really had stability till she went to Hogwarts. Lily was jealous of Ashley's home as lily really never had anything like it. She wondered if she chose to keep this baby. Could she give it the stability she never had? Ashley came back into the room carrying a bottle of amber liquid.

"Do you wan to clean your cuts?" Ashley offered

"No thank you. I'll do them, I'm not an invalid. Do think you could take me to hospital tomorrow, if it's not to much trouble?" lily asked

"Yes of course, why do think something could be damaged internally?" Ashley wondered worriedly

"No, I'm sure its fine. I just want to make sure _it's _ok. That's all" lily tried to smile as she said this.

"It?"

"I'm pregnant"

"Oh my god, lily! Why didn't you say? "

"Look I like found out a few days ago, I still don't know how I feel about it, I completely forgot all about it!"

"go have some sleep and we will go hospital first thing tomorrow morning ok?"

Lily got up and hugged Ashley. "Thank you" she wihispered

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a/n ok this chapter is just a filler really. But I would love it if you reviewed! Also I need your help again.

How do you think James should find out about lily being pregnant? Here are just a few of my ideas

he finds out when she is labour

she comes and tell him

one of the marauder(excluding peter) see hers with a bump and tel james.

Ok I know they are crap that's why I need you help so review and give your opinion please!


	13. dreams

A/n: ok I love the reviews. You guys are like the best!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

_Lily looked around in her surroundings, she was lying on a bed there were people pushing the bed towards a set of double doors. One man turned and looked at her and said;_

"_Miss it will be alright, your going to fine, you're in the hospital now. You and our baby will be fine. You're going to be a mama. Not long to go your nine centimetres dilated." They went though another set of double door and lily looked down at her stomach and saw this bump. As they entered the last set of doors they entered what looked like a delivery room_

"_What are you talking about" lily said in a panicked voice now realising what was going on. "I just found out I was pregnant!" she let out a murderous scream and she felt a sharp white hot pain in her abdomen._

"_Why is this happening to me?" lily questioned the healers in mask all standing around her. But they all ignored her_

"_I can see a head!" cried the healer who was between lily's legs_

"_What! Listen to me! This isn't meant to happen! Stop it please stop it." She let out another scream. But this was not because of a pain but because she wanted them to listen. But they continued to ignore her._

"_Congratulations miss" said a healer holding her baby_

_Lily looked at her new baby something filled her to which she had never felt before in her life. She put her arms out towards the child, but the healer wouldn't let her have it._

"_You can't have a child so precious, you're a filthy little mudblood." The healer removed his mask and it was Lord Voldemort._

"_Give me my baby!" lily screamed she looked at the other people around her for help put their overalls and mask soon moulded into black cloaks and white masks._

"_Please! Give my baby! I don't want you to hurt it!" she leant forward and reached for the child again. But the hands of two death eaters pushed her back. Voldemort passed the baby to another death eater which drew his wand and uttered the words_

"_Avada kedrava" _

_The green light came straight at her._

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Lily woke with a start she gave scream as she woke up she sat straight up in her bed. She dripping with sweat and so were the bed sheets. She went in to bath room to wash her face to cool herself down. She looked in the mirror and saw big fat bags underneath her eyes. She closed her eye hoping that when she would wake up she would open them up it would be a dream everything and that she would be safe in her bed with Dorcas in the next room alive. She opened them. No such luck she was still exactly where she was before she closed her eyes. She suddenly felt a violent jolt in her stomach. She crouched over the toilet and was sick. And she coughed she began to cry. She put her head against the seat and sat there on the floor and cried. This just wasn't fair. She wanted to be little again when you had no worries except your what are you going to have for dinner. She just wanted her life to end right now.

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**_2 months later_**

James put his hands to his temples and started to massage them to try and drown out mad eye constant spiel. He wasn't the only one ignoring him, Frank Longbottom and his new fiancée Alice were cuddling up together and giggling and whispering, James suspected, naughty things to each other. It jus them either it was loads of other people too. Zach looked as though he has fallen a slept all together and there was a blonde female Auror who had moved, or something was looking at her nail looking for chips. James suddenly went back to Blonde Auror. How come he had never noticed her extreme beauty before! She had shoulder length long blonde locks of curls, ruby red lips, and ice blue eyes with olive skin. It had been a long time since James had noticed another woman.

"Is any body listening to me?" mad eye irritably

"Nope, can we go to lunch now?" James asked cheekily hoping o catch the blonde attention, and he did the blonde giggled at his remark.

"Fine! Leave you lazy rat bags!"

As they left James went to the smoking corner. He had taken the habit again after his return. He noticed to blonde come over. She too lit a cigarette.

James looked at her with curiosity; he felt a strong attraction towards this woman. She looked at him and smiled.

"Hi!" James said spontaneously, thinking what an idiot he is going to look.

"Hey!" laughed back the blonde

"I'm James Potter" putting his cigarette in other hand and outing his right hand out to shake hers. She took his hand and replied;

"I'm Agatha Macross, call me aggie though, I hate Agatha!" she laughed she had a beautiful Australian accent.

"You our new transfer?" James asked trying to keep conversation going and hopefully strong

"Yeh, I'm the new kid. That mad eyes don't half go on a bit. Does he?" she laughed.

"He's my God father and my dad's best friend" James laughed at aggie's face when he said this. Her face completely dropped in shock.

"Look I didn't mean any harm I was – "

"Don't worry about it. We aren't close and he doesn't exactly tell everyone I am his god son. Actually we don't particularly get on but hey!"

"Still I'm sorry, if there's anything I could do to make up. It would make me feel much better about insulting your god father." She looked uneasy as she said this.

"Alright, come to dinner with me tonight if it would make you feel better" James said cheekily as he put his cigarette out. "I'll be at yours around seven?"

"Wait you don't where I live?" Aggie said in protest

"Don't worry about that! just be ready." He walked off with a big smile on his face.

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James and Aggie were sitting in a discrete restaurant in diagon alley, they had had a wonderful l meal and desert and were now on the after meal coffee. They had been talking like they had been old friends catching up.

"So," James questioned "why did you leave Australia?"

"My boss. He was a bit of an arsehole. He was if you like bullying me. Didn't help that he was my fiancé either!" Aggie said looking in to her coffee

"Jesus! That must have been fun!" James said taking a sip of his coffee.

"In the end I just had enough I put in for a transfer for any where and left him, and I haven't had a regret since." She said now cheering up

"Good for you!" said James smiling

"What about you then? There's a girl who got to you too I can just feel it."

"Its complicated and a very long story." James said not wanting to open this can of worms.

"Well we have till our coffees end. Come on I'm a good listener and anything you say to me is in confidentiality." She said

"Ok, well I met this girl at school and I was in love with her the moment I saw her, but she like didn't take notice of my affections at all. Until I saved her life and she was forced to become friends with me. So in the end we ended up together got engaged and then it just fell apart because of death eater really." James said bitterly

"She found some one else huh? While you were held captive? You got back there's a new guy in her life?"

James looked at Aggie as though she was reading his mind. "Yeh, how did you know?" James said in amazement

"Your James Potter you are a hero, doesn't take a rocket scientist you know. I am a woman! I know these things." Aggie laughed

"yeh you pretty amazing," James said looking straight in to her eye.

She looked away from his stare and began to blush," James are you hitting on me?" she laughed

"Maybe, maybe not," James smiled

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"It has been three months since we last met and yet there has been no attempt of murder of Potters life! Why Wormtail?"

"it has been difficult, that's all I'm trying master!" Wormtail squeaked with fear

"You're trying! Boo hoo. I want him dead and I want him dead now!"

"But –"

"Crucio-"

a/n I might not be able to update soon but the next chapter is going to be huge it might skip a few months but loads and loads is going to happen


	14. the big one

A/n; ok I know it has been ages since I last updated. But there is a valid reason. I fractured my wrist while ice-skating and found it impossible to type I swear I am not lying. Ok from the last chapter I promised this one would be huge so it's gone be! Also to Chelle692 it's a good and for a while I was going to do something similar! But I changed my idea! But thanks for reviewing and also everyone else who reviewed the last chapter!

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Lily was looking around her new apartment; well it was only temporary until the baby was born. But at the moment it was the closest thing to home. As she was unpacking her things and dusting, she heard a creek behind her. She grabbed her wand and went to investigate the noise.

"Show your self!" lily shouted

"Christ lily! Did you want to kill me?" cried Ashley, her hand on heart, from fright.

"Sorry Ashley I thought you were an intruder! Forgive me?"

"Not now I won't! Lily you shouldn't be moving around heavy things especially lifting, you don't want to drop that kid early do you?" Ashley said

"Wow you put it so nicely! Well I have to make the place look respectable! Adoption agency is coming over in two days for my interview!" Lily was in mood for a lecture on what she should be doing and what she shouldn't be.

"Lily-"

"No I don't want to hear I have made my mind up! This kid would be much safer with out me around!" lily also wasn't in the mood for one of those chats either.

"Don't you think you should at least tell the father what your doing? He has a right to know you know!" Ashley protested.

"I thought you came over to help me?"

"I have and I am going to after you have heard what I have said and taken to into account! You need to tell the father, like it or not he needs to know! Lily, you turned up on my doorstep dripping in blood and pregnant. I didn't judge, I didn't ask questions! But giving up this baby, it's not only your decision. What will happen when it starts to develop powers and what not. Its adoptive parent won't be wizards and witches. They will be normal! Lily you need to raise this baby! You need to be a mother!" Ashley finished with tears in her eyes, with a pleading look on her face.

Lily couldn't stand to look at her; she turned and faced the window with tears in her eyes. "I'm giving this baby because it's not safe with me. Ok? Not because I can't be bothered to give a home, stability. But because it will be in danger! I know that the death eaters want to kill it! That why I was attacked that night I turned up and your house! It because of it's dad he has made too many enemies! How they know what happened is beyond me. But me looking after this baby will result in it death. As its mother I need to protect it. By giving it up they won't know where to find it! Like you said it will a be wizard or witch, so it won't miss out on it's heritage. I need you to help me, not argue with me. After I have had this baby, I want you to take I mean the minute it is born! I don't want to know anything about it. Take it to adoptive services; tell them I died in child birth. Then hand it over. Then neither one of us can be traced by the death eaters, it's the only way! Please Ashley I'm begging you help me!"

"Are you sure? If you change your mind at any point tell me! Ok?" Ashley asked

Lily nodded.

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James sat in his kitchen with a bottle of fire whisky, even though he had made a promise to his friends. It was just too difficult. He had a really bad day, some of Aggie friends had come over to see her, and well they patronised James at every moment possibly cause they all liked her last boy friend even if he had treated her completely shit. They couldn't stop singing his praises, and not only that Mad eye was giving him a hard time comparing him to his father that's just all he needed, bad enough his mother did it, now with Mad eye on his case it was as though he couldn't escape.

He heard a little pop, please let it not be Remus or Sirius, please he thought to himself. He then heard Aggies voice:

"James sweety? You here? Oh there you are!"

James took a deep breath, "hey how was the club? Did Sarah and Jackie enjoy themselves?"

"Yeh they loved it, they said it was a shame you didn't come."

James knew she was lying, "Just didn't feel well" he got up and put away the fire whisky.

"Feeling well enough to drink though." She replied

"Not you as well" James moaned

"Sarah and Jackie think you don't like them, is it true?" she asked.

"Look I had a rough day and I didn't need your mates rabbiting on about how great your ex is ok?" James was in no mood for this.

"Oh its ok that I have to go out with your mates and listen to them, but when its my friends it is totally out of the question? Is that what you're saying?" She snapped, James could see from the glare in her eyes, that she was ready for a fight.

"Look we are both tired, I don't want to get into a fight with you, lets go to bed, please?"

Her gaze softened, "ok"

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"_CRUCIO!" screamed a voice_

_James was hanging from chains connected to the ceiling he let out a blood curdling scream. He felt his wrists going numb from the chains; he felt blood trickling down his chest. He could barely see anything as he didn't have his glasses. He suddenly felt a tug against his torso he felt something rip into him, he couldn't help but scream again._

"_Naughty naughty Potter"_

_He spat the blood within his mouth at the person and mustered his voice, "fuck off!"_

"_You don't play nicely do you? How long it been? 6 weeks? And still no cavalry! I bet they are glad you have gone!"_

"_Go screw Voldemort!"_

"_Crucio! What have I told you about using the Lord's name in vain! You jus won't learn will you?"_

"_He is your Lord not mine!"_

"_You won't be saying that when your are begging for your life from him! You'll be desperate to sign up! I'll be back, but until then!" Bellatrix waved her wand and as if it was nothing some metal came to wards James. It was his cage it wrapped around his face and was white hot. He could feel it been his cheeks he tried to scream but he couldn't open his mouth. He put his hands to the cage but like his face it was scolded too. He could feel blisters now on his face then bursting from the heat he knew in a few hours he would strung up on the ceiling again and his face would be healed. But this time it was different._

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"James? James!" Aggie shook James to try and get him to wake up and if was if he having some sort of shock. He was shaking and screaming, but nothing she did would wake him up!

"JAMES!" she screamed now with tears in her eyes from fear

He jumped up right, but still was screaming, when he stopped he was in sweat and was breathing heavily. He ran into his bathroom and looked in the mirror. He put his hands to face and waited for the burning but nothing. He sat on the edge of the bath and laughed.

"You're laughing! You scared me half to death and you're laughing? What was that? It seemed as though you were dying!" cried a scared Aggie

James gave out a smile and said "nothing, absolutely nothing!" he got up and look in the mirror again then sprinkled water on his face to cool himself down.

"Don't tell me it was nothing! When it seems to be something!" Aggie was almost outraged he wouldn't tell her.

"Do you really want to know?" James asked

"Yes I think I have the right actually!"

"Ok so here your right! It was a nightmare actually more of a memory of when the Death Eaters tortured me! Ok?"

"Oh my god!"

"Look its fine! I'm ok!"

Aggie suddenly burst into tears, James walked over to her and took her into his embrace. "I'm Sorry I scared you! But it scared me too!" he kissed her fore head.

"It must have been terrible, from the way that you were screaming." She looked at him with her eyes glistening from tears.

"It was but I'm here now and I'm with you, I'm safe!" he kissed her passionately then picked her up and led her to the bed room and closed the door behind them.

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"Miss Evans?" said a balding man of around late forties

"Yes! Nice to meet you –"lily was waiting for an introduction but he did give one.

"Can I come in then?" said the balding man.

"Um yes of course, come in." lily stood sideways

"Have you just moved in?" said the man looking at the boxes disapprovingly.

"Yes just a few days ago, would you like to take a seat?" lily tried to give a smile but the man just looked at her as if she was some dirt.

"So let's get on with this shall we? Why do you want to give up this baby for adoption?"

"Well, umm I think it would be better" lily really wasn't ready for this, even a simple question she needed to know the answer for and yet she found it difficult.

"Can you explain in further detail?" he said impatiently

"Errrrr – well I, um, well I'm not ready for child, too much responsibility!" why couldn't she answer his stupid questions.

"Responsibility? Don't you think if you had then maybe I wouldn't be sitting here today? Look Miss Evans I can see that you don't want to give up this baby!"

"No, no of I course do!"

He looked at her astonished

"Look I see hundreds possibly thousands of women every year and most of them wouldn't care if their baby ended up in a bin, but you. I don't know! There is just something about you! That's why I am refusing your application. Please, don't do anything rash, I know you want this baby, and I know you know you want it too!" he got up to leave.

"But wait! You can't do that! If I choose to give up my baby, then I can!" lily was desperate she needed her baby to be safe.

He walked over to the door and opened It." yes I can good day!" he closed it behind him.

Lily just stood there in amazement of what had just happened. What was she going to do now?

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**2 weeks later**

It was late July and James had never felt better, Aggie's annoying friends had gone to back to Australia. The other reason was basically because it was such a nice day! As he walked down the streets he couldn't help but smile.

"Peter?" James thought he had seen him; it had been months since he had seen him!

He looked again and realised it was him. Could this day get any better? As walked across the road he saw someone else with him.

"Snape!" the day had taken a sudden change of direction.

James thought he would wait and hide till he actually saw Snape do something, and then he would creep up on him unprepared.

Snape grabbed Peter by the throat and threw him against the wall.

"We warned you, if you didn't do it, we would and you would die! More fool you!" spat Snape

He raised his wand

At that moment in time James got out his wand, luckily he was that little bit faster then Snape.

"Expellarmous!" (Sp) shouted James.

Snape fell forwards and Peter dropped to the ground massaging his neck. Snape quickly got up, he spat form his mouth to the ground and held his wand high!

"Bastard! You have no idea what you have done!" Snape screamed.

"James, no leave it. Please!" Peter pleaded.

"Too late"

Snape waved his wand directly to James heart.

James laughed "was that meant to scare me? You're a weak path-"James suddenly dropped to the ground in agony it felt as though his blood was boiling, he felt his heart beat decrease and his breathing become more and more restricted. He looked up at Snape and Peter looked as though he was going to vomit. Snape had that same old sneer that he had also had, he looked intently into James's eyes and there didn't seem to be an ounce of guilt or regret. He closed his eyes.

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Lily was thrashing in her she just couldn't get comfortable, he kicked and shuved her duvet off her. She was so hot; she decided to have a glass of water. As she got out of her bed she felt a sharp pain hit her abdomen, she feel to the ground clutching her stomach. She drew a large breath and decided it was just brackten's hic. She got up went towards her kitchen. She was still shaken and she stood over her sink, the pain hit her again she let out and scream and held on her to stomach. This time it was stronger, she took deep breathes.

"Having Trouble Miss Evan?" came the voice that sent shivers down her spine.

She turned around to see the face of Lord Voldemort and other deatheaters in her living room.

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A/n ok I know it has been like forever since I have updated, but if you read the first paragraph at the top of the page there was a valid excuse, so plz plz plz plz review! I'm begging u! and if I get like loads and loads I swear I will update more and more often! REVIEW! PLEASE!


	15. time to grow up!

A/n: ok here the next chapter hope u like it! A Special thanks to, me, Tigerwhisper, miss-mags-ak, Leonie Leo, Aquarius21 . Thanks you guys! For reviewing!

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James opened his eyes slowly; his whole body felt like pins and needles, the whole room was blurry. He reached for his glasses but in stead found some ones head.

"AH! Jesus Christ, give me a heart attack why don't you!"

"Sirius?" James croaked

"James you're awake! You scared us back there a bit!" Sirius said

"Where's Peter?" James asked

"Peter? What has Peter got to do with a Deatheater trying to kill you?" Sirius asked perplexed

James now was very confused, was peter there and what happened to him, his head felt as though it was in a vice.

"Where's Aggie?"

"At work she was devastated, mad eye put her up to assignment to keep her mind off you."

"How long have I been here?" James was so confused.

"12 hours"

"I want to go home."

Sirius looked almost appalled "James you need to rest, you have been through a lot! Seriously take my advice you need to slow down or else you will end up dead!"

"Look Sirius I get it! Really I do but hospitals aren't the best place for me, I don't exactly have greatest of memories from them. So if I go home will relax and get better quicker." James was in enough pain with out Sirius being a pain as well.

"James –"

"Sirius if you're any friend, then you will go and get a healer to discharge me please! I just want to go home." He looked pleadingly at Sirius

"Fine, but just to warn you I don't think Aggie is home, so you're not going to score any sympathy points off her." Sirius chuckled and left the room

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Lily's eyes were full of tears, she lay on a moth eaten bed, alone, and even though there was 3 deatheaters in the room she was still alone. She had no one, that was when it hit her, this was the end. It wasn't going to glamorous or brave, it was a blunt death. As a contraction hit her for some reason she wouldn't scream, it was as though she wouldn't give them the satisfaction she was in pain. Sure they had even offered her some sort of pain relief but she had refused. There were so many things she had wished she had differently. But now with her time running out, and maybe if she got through this she would just go do those things.

"Sit up! Mudblood!" spat one of the deatheater

"Now now, have some manners she is having my baby after all" sneered Lord Voldemort

"Your baby! I don't really remember you being there" Lily suddenly thought that was not the best of things to say to the man who held her life in his hands.

"True, but I never minded adoption."

"Adoption?"

"yes I will adopt as you like to say your child and raise as if it were my own, in life of evil and hate, you should be proud. Your child will be the most powerful and most evil leader that there will ever be!" laughed Lord Voldemort

"NO it won't, its father won't let you! James won't let you! "

"Even if he knew that you were pregnant, do you really think that snivelling worthless excuse of man has a chance of defying me!" he gave her his signature laugh." Well there isn't much chance of him defying me now, especially that he is dead!"

"What? Your lying he can't be! Stop telling lies!" she was in shock, the only that she could actually really on was gone, just like the other people she loved in her life. All of them gone.

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"James!" screamed Aggie as she ran in and threw her hands over him. "You're ok!"

"Yes I am ok, but I am still in some pain" winched James

"Oh, I'm sorry"

"Don't worry about it; I think I am feeling better now that I have seen you!" James smiled

"How about a fire whisky all round" said the voice behind him, which belonged to Remus who was standing in his door way with Sirius holding a bottle.

"You know me Remus I would never say no to a drink, but I can't some pain relief potion stupid healers have given me, I swear those people don't understand why people drink alcohol." James looked longingly at the bottle. "But you guys indulge for me"

"No we couldn't it's not fair on you" Remus argued

"No I insist!"

"Fine but go and sit down while I get the drinks sorted" said Remus

"So what exactly happened?" Aggie asked

"I don't exactly remember what, it all kind of blurry what happened. I wish I could but I can't." James was so frustrated with himself

"Look mate don't you worry about it, let your work colleagues do that for you!" Sirius gave him a clap on his shoulder "just sit back and lets enjoy our drinks!"

"Here is to one of James greatest escapes!" Sirius joked as he raised his glass.

"James?"

"Christ Peter didn't see you there, come on in and have a drink!" said Sirius

"NO!" Peter said impatiently, "I have to speak to James in private, its important!

"Alright calm down. What ever it is just say in front of everyone, we are all friends!" James directed him to an empty chair "so what is so important that you need to tell me."

"The dark Lord he, he, he has kidnapped a young pregnant woman, he believes that this child she carries will be more powerful than he is, so he is going to use the child to take over the wizarding world. James this child is going to be born the latest tonight." Peter shock as he said this.

"Ok, we need to report this, do you know where this woman is being held captive." James asked slowly

"there is more before we get into any more details, James this young woman is Lily and this child is yours, she got pregnant the night before she left" Peter couldn't look James in the eye the whole room had gone in to silence. James's face had turned white; he sank into the floor in shock.

"My? My? My? My child? Are you sure?" James said absolutely dumbstruck

"Yes, I'm positive. That baby is yours."

"Wait how come Peter knew and you didn't!" said the angry voice of Aggie

"Snape, he told me, then I, I, I"

"Who care about how he knows we need to find her to make sure she is ok!" Sirius said.

"Peter where is she?" asked Remus "we need to contact Dumbledore, Aggie go and do that! Sirius you try and get James out of shock, while me and Peter go ahead to where she is and assess the situation. I am guessing you know where she is Peter?"

Peter nodded

Peter and Remus left the room. Aggie looked at James almost in disgust and followed them.

"James? Mate? You ok?" Sirius was being very cautious

"She is pregnant! She is pregnant and she didn't tell me! I never thought." James looked at Sirius like a five year old who had been told he couldn't watch cartoons.

"Yeh she is, and you heard peter she is going to have this baby, and you know what? You have to be its dad, James in the next few hours you have to grow up! In the next few hours you are going to be responsible for a human being." James couldn't look Sirius in the eye while he was saying all of this, the reason because he knew he was right about everything.

"Aggie though, she was so mad, you saw her, what if she leaves me?" James asked

"Who cares? James what more important? Your baby or you stupid girl friend? This is what I mean by growing up!" shouted Sirius

"Sirius I don't how to be dad!"

"And what you think most guys do?" Sirius questioned

"Sirius, you don't –"

"No I might not know much about this, but you have to take responsibility for your actions. Now we are going to go to save her and you will be there when your baby is born. Even if I have to drag you by your hair, understand?" Sirius now started to stare him out.

"You'll be here with me, if I screw up?" James asked

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

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Sweat was pouring down her fore head, the pain was unbearable, her breaths became quicker and deeper and it wasn't because she felt as though she was about to be ripped apart but because this was the end and she was scared, scared that she will won't survive the next few hours, scared that her baby will not know who she was, scared it will be evil, scared that she may have given life to the most evil thing that may ever live. She knew one thing she had to get out of here to some where else safe or not, where ever as long as it was far enough to keep her baby safe. The door to the room that she was in it was slightly a jar; she could hear the death eaters out side.

"She needs to have this baby soon, the dark Lord is growing inpatient!" said the first death eater.

"Yes but how? Those stupid Aurors not to mention that brainless order lot are circling us! They are going to attack and there is almost triple of them then there is of us? What do you propose we do?" said the second deatheater

" I, I –"

"ATTACK!"

This was it, her chance to escape, her chance for a new start as she went forward to the door she was knocked back ward to the ground from some one opening the door. Another contraction hit her as she landed on the ground.

"Get up Mudblood! You'll be our decoy! They won't fire at one of their own!" Said the death eater.

He yanked her upwards and dragged her from the room. He had her in front of him above a flight of stairs he held her and pointed his wand at her head.

"Fire once more and I'll kill her!"

"What?" lily turned to look at him but he punched her in the stomach, she let out a howl of pain from this new pain, it wasn't like the contractions, it was different it was something worse. But his threat had worked, they had stopped firing.

"Let her go! You have lost, now let her go or we will attack!" Mad eye answered.

"Yeh your right I will let her go!" with saying that he gave her a slight push and she fell.

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"Are you ready to go? Apparently the attack is nearly over." Sirius said

"yeh, now or never huh? Still can't believe it though, who in there right mind would make me a dad?"

Sirius smiled "I always liked Lily she always seemed to be off her rocker!" they both laughed, the door went flying open

"I've seen and my god she is pregnant! I can't believe you James!" Aggie slapped him.

"I didn't know she was pregnant! If I did do you really think I would have let her get kidnapped by death eaters?" James spat back.

"Exactly! You didn't know! Your head is so far up in the clouds you wouldn't noticed if that wretched kid was on fire!" she screamed

"Oi you two shut up!" Remus shouted.

"James you need to go to ST. Mungos and quick, its not looking good."

"I'll come with you" Sirius said

"We'll apperate together" replied Remus.

And with a little pop they were gone leaving Aggie alone.

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Lily was lying in a room that was so white you needed sunglasses just to be in it, a contraction hit her again, they were getting closer and closer together. The healers were saying something but she couldn't hear as they were whispering so she couldn't hear, she let out another scream, she was dying, she could feel it her life slipping away and this child was coming in to this world. She screamed again and now the healers said something.

"Ok Miss Evans, your nine centimetre dilated and a month early, but not to worry." He gave her smile that wasn't very convincing.

"May I ask will the father be joining us as if he is cutting it a bit short?" The other healer asked.

"no, he won't be joining us." Lily let a tear slip. Again another contraction hit her again. She closed her eyes the pain was so intense and when she opened them who was standing above her but James.

"Hi, lily!" he said looking extremely uncomfortable at the situation.

"He said you were dead. I thought you were dead."

"Yeh well it was close as usual" he smiled at her, she tried to give a smile but pain filled her face instead and then she screamed.

"Oh god!" she cried

"What? What's wrong?" James asked confused

"Right" the healer went, "well I can see the head, try and push with the contractions, and it should all be ok"

Lily screamed as she gave a push but it wasn't enough, the pain handn't stopped, "I can't do this! I want it all to go away"

"Lily just push and we will sort it when we have our baby, all you got to do it push and forget about everything else, push lily!" James said

She looked at him closed her eyes and pushed.

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a/n ok I have finished little harry has been born now plz review!

Btw an extra thanks to james4lily and waterdreamer! Again thanks for your reviews!

Come on you know you want to review this chapter! Plz im begging review!


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